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 REAL MONEY FOR REAL COLLECTORS |
** MEMBER #1439 of the CANADIAN PAPER MONEY SOCIETY **
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YET?? >> HELD OVER FOR BOXING MONTH!! << (JANUARY)  The holidays started early this year. That's right, I said the H-word, not the C-word. Last year at this time, I was using the C-word like it was going out of style and reprimanding retail businesses that purposely avoided it. This year, I'm already sick of the whole kit-and-kaboodle, whatever you want to call it, because I spotted the first holiday commercial on television back in the 3rd week of October. No, it wasn't a commercial for Halloween (which, by the way, is not a holiday). It was a commercial featuring Santa Claus. In October. Am I the only person who finds this sort of thing repulsive? It's bad enough when advertisers start talking about the "holiday season" before the last of the smashed pumpkins have been picked off the roads. And to be fair, this is hardly the first time I have seen holiday advertising in October. I distinctly remember a time, years ago, when Zellers department stores started telling us about Zellers Toyland in about mid-October. And while I'm not much of a shopper at any time of year, I have heard first-hand accounts of some department stores putting up decorative trees in September. I thought we were making progress as a society toward regaining some semblance of sanity when it came to promoting the one-day holiday that takes place on December 25th but that is celebrated in effect for two months (or more). I was prepared to "put up" with the usual barrage of mirthful holiday sale advertising, except that there was nothing usual about it this year. I usually rely on Americans to show a proper amount of restraint since they still have Thanksgiving at the end of November. This year, however, was like a volcanic eruption with advertising for both holidays reaching almost a fever pitch throughout November. So for this year, I have officially cancelled Christmas on give-a-buck.com. Well, not the real Christmas, anyhow. That still takes place on December 25th and anyone that wants to observe it is free to do so. I just think that the celebration of Christmas has gone on for too long. Six weeks is enough, thank you, and considering that one retailer already had its Boxing Week sale in November, Christmas is a fait accomplis. It's time to start thinking about Easter, people! Get with the program! It's time to start thinking about bunnies and chocolate eggs and Easter trees. And don't laugh if you think it's too early. You used to have to wait until January to get chocolate Easter eggs, but the wait is over. Cadbury now makes their mini-eggs year-round (to coincide with the fact that Jesus Christ was fond of dressing up as a giant rabbit and hiding coloured eggs with his disciples). Anyhow, it's clear that the "technical recession" we're experiencing is having an indirect impact on forcing Christmas earlier than normal this year. Can you sense the desperation of the retailers who depend (in theory) on November-December sales to make it through the year? The more they complain about being strapped for cash, the more they spend for advertising. Un-huh. It doesn't matter to them that many people affected by the recession, people losing their jobs or seeing their savings dwindle, may not feel like celebrating Christmas this year. Nope, they'll just stand logic on its head and trust that people without jobs will want to celebrate Christmas that much more because they have all the time in the world and they need something to make them forget their woes. And let's not forget to drag out the dead horse named global warming and kick it some more. Clearly, the warming of the planet and the greenhouse effect are causing winter to start earlier than they ever did since 1998. More snow and more cold = more Christmas spirit. If we ever doubted that cold = warm, Al Gore showed up on Oprah to remind us that the ice caps are actually melting, not growing, and who doesn't trust Al Gore? With the gas prices falling and unemployment rates rising, the environmentalists are understandably nervous that their agenda will be snowed under by the economic crisis. And so I expect that any day now, David Suzuki will be visiting soup kitchens and thrift stores around Canada to remind us about the plight of the endangered polar bear. So don't bother wishing me a Merry Christmas because it wont be reciprocated. Remember those Christmas songs you used to sing as a kid and how you used to find great delight in changing the lyrics to make them naughty? Like "Jingle Bells, mortar shells, VC in the grass..." Well, do like the song in your head says and insert Christmas where the sun dare not shine.  Oh yeah... I have a special holiday greeting for you members of a certain paper money discussion board. "Fuck you." |
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