There can be no denial that the white rapper supreme, Eminem, likes to push the envelope with his rhymes. Because he can't use the N-word, he has to find other ways to sound angry and be taken seriously. Kim is his on-again, off-again girlfriend, one of his favorite recipients of attention, but in this song, all he does is scream at her before killing her and dumping her body in the forest. Truly tasteless and disturbing, this track fails to display any of Eminem's finer attributes and serves only as fodder to those who consider him to be a twisted individual. It's like the soundtrack of a snuff film.

Enya is one of my favorite artists, but this is by far the worst track on her weakest album. Released in 1991, Shepherd Moons was very likely rushed out of production following the great success of her previous album, Watermark (1989). If you examine the track listing of Shepherd Moons, you will see that "Smaointe..." was made in 1988, so it had to be a rejected track from the previous album and serves only as space filler. This track is very irritating in its slow pace and the instrumental chorus. This piece should have been buried with Eminem's girlfriend in the previous song. And what seriously drives me up the wall about "Smaointe..." is that it occupies a spot on the album where Enya normally puts some of her best music. "Lazy Days" on her A Day Without Rain album is the final track and one of my favorite songs of all time.

If you have not been initiated to the music of the Tiger Lillies, you might want to skip this one or at least visit their website first. Lead singer Martin Jacques (yes, he's a dude!) sounds like Dame Edna on crack, and the music of the Tiger Lillies has been described as "Belgian Goth Opera". This group released an album where every song contains references to bestiality, and another album about naughty children who die at the end of every track. You have been warned. Apart from these *ahem* concept albums, much of their music is inspired by the poor neighborhoods in Britain and their seedy inhabitants. While the Tiger Lillies are often amusing (if you like hearing a screeching falsetto backed up by the accordion), this particular track is dull and lifeless, and it drones on for four-and-a-half minutes. And yes, the title of the song pretty much sums up what it's about.

Stompin' Tom is a Canadian cultural icon, and I have no doubt that many patriotic Canucks would string me up for putting him on this list. Doubly so... Stompin' Tom has two entries worthy of distinction. I maintain that he is the poor man's Johnny Cash, and like Johnny, he is responsible for some of the best and worst music in recording history. "Big Joe Mufferaw", "Bud the Spud", and "The Ketchup Song" are some of my favorites. The two turkeys given above, though, make me cringe when I hear Stompin Tom's voice rise and fall on some of the high notes. I can still remember my public school classmates and I being chewed out by our music teacher for commiting that most heinous of lyrical sins! It doesn't help that Stompin' Tom's lyrics are so incredibly hokey or that every province and city in Canada is his favorite.

Don't let the title fool you... This song was performed very nicely by Hank Williams Sr. over 60 years ago. The cover presented here was done by Johnny Cash when his voice was failing him late in life. Johnny's love of singing obviously impaired his judgement as he cranked out several albums that sound like each song was performed only once... like there was no such thing as a "bad take". The fourth (!) album in his American trilogy, The Man Comes Around, actually gives us two huge clunkers. His cover of Simon and Garfunkle's "Bridge Over Troubled Water" is at least as bad if not worse than the given song, but I chose not to include it here as, unbelievably, I found an even worse cover of the same song done by Aaron Neville (see below).

When you hear this cover of one of Johhny Cash's most famous songs, one of the most famous in all recording history, you can understand why he started doing covers of other people's songs late in his life. It was for revenge! Leonard Nimoy, best remembered as "Dr. Spock" on the original Star Trek television series, actually believed that he had artistic talent when he and William Shatner ("Captain Kirk") put out several albums of music both together and solo. If Leonard was not so adamamnt in telling people "I am not Spock", his fans might actually enjoy this song as it sounds like it was done while "in character". God help us if Leonard ever tries covering Stompin' Tom!

Don't adjust your speakers; there's nothing wrong with them. That really IS Aaron Neville's voice wavering like that. He certainly adds a unique touch to every song he destroys. You know who he sounds like? "Buddy" from The Kids In The Hall!! Anyone who thinks this song is better than Simon and Garfunkle's original version, one of the all-time greatest pieces of music of any kind, needs to go to jail. Nobody ever thinks of re-doing the greatest movies of all time; why is it acceptible to re-do great music?

Hmmm, where do I start? A washed-up country singer best remembered for her body instead of her career decides to put out an album of classic rock covers. Oh, wait, it's already been done by Pat Boone several years earlier, so she gets no points for originality. Like Boone, she did a cover of Stairway to Heaven which brought her much publicity (quite undeserved). If you recall about 25 years ago, "SCTV" did a spoof commercial in one of their skits for a fake album called "Stairways to Heaven". Over 30 different versions of the same song done by different artists, and the comedians took turns immitating artists singing the song. One of the singers they spoofed was Dolly Parton. So, in effect, SCTV actually predicted the future. Anyhow, back to this cover of the classic song by The Animals, Dolly Parton didn't just make it worse by turning it into pseudo-country music, but she also changed the lyrics to suit her needs. The fact that this song was meant to be sung by a MAN didn't give her a clue that maybe she should have left this one alone.

This one is courtesy of a co-worker who made the mistake of playing this in my presence. He's also a big Neil Young fan. There are not many bigger oxymorons than "big fan of Neil Young" in my opinion. How the fuck can anyone in their right mind get excited about wishy-washy music? Anyhow, this person assured me that David Bowie is a versatile artist who changes styles frequently. So what style do you call it when he sings an entire song in monotone voice like a robot? Is this supposed to be new-age or what? David Bowie is no Moby, that's for sure. Oh, wait, I see the reason for the robotic voice... the future, robots, high tech... Very clever (NOT).

You've probably heard the "dogs barking Jingle Bells" song by now. It has turned up on television and in films like "Roger & Me". What you may not know is that there was a whole Christmas album of this stuff! This version of Rudolph... is so bad it will make you wince before boring you with an amateur instrumental piece in the span of less than two minutes. But it's all in the good spirit of the holidays, right? Wrong.

Here's the interactive part of the list. I don't know who wrote this clip or from where it originates. Is it from a TV show? It features a shrill, whiney child singing with a piercing whistle every time he hits an ESS. Is there a rule saying that Christmas music has to be bad? For people who get stressed out at that time of year, it would be nice if they could hear some GOOD music instead.